Randomly, my favorite moment in a hockey fic thus far is the one where Kaner is watching “The Vampire Diaries” on TV and comments on how Jeremy is hot. It’s never explicitly stated that he’s watching TVD and it’s not at all a major point of the story. But I mean, of course Kaner watches TVD and thinks Jeremy Gilbert is hot. OF COURSE HE’S THE ONLY PERSON WATCHING TVD FOR JEREMY. 

Also, because I’m terrible, I kind of want to read a random fic about Kaner trying to hook up with Steve R. McQueen, mostly because it’s too bad that no one has taken advantage of Kaner wretchedly trying to talk about how Steven’s related to Luc Robitaille as an attempt to subtly get in Steven’s pants, except he doesn’t realize it’s really fucking weird to talk about a dude’s stepdad to seduce him. 

If it could also feature Kaner being like, “I’m not just trying to suck your dick because you’re son his son or whatever, though, obviously. You’re not blood, so you don’t even look alike,” somewhere in the middle, then that would be perfect. 

My birthday is in August. 

I thought this was some live concert photography at first glance, and then belatedly got that it was Benedict. Now I’m just thinking about some emails a few weeks ago that had me daydreaming about Martin Freeman as a respected DJ who gets testy when people mention this new guy who people call reclusive but inspired and who seems to have fame in their whole scene overnight, and Martin doesn’t like his music and thinsk an enigmatic musician is usually code for supreme dick, especially with overhyped DJ types, but then he meets Benedict, and then gets annoyed when Benedict is relentlessly genuine actually and not a hack. And then, idk, mostly I thought about them making out in dark corners of clubs and dance halls.

I’ve decided that my personal headcanon is that Stiles and Caroline are cousins. Stiles is understandably surprised to find out the world is even crazier than he already thought and his cousin is a vampire. She’s been dating a werewolf though, so she gets his struggles, even though it sounds like the werewolves on the east coast work differently than what Stiles has experienced with Scott, which is weird to consider — that maybe there are different species of werewolf or something. And then, you know, later Caroline has to help Stiles when his revelation about vampires causes more problems. He only told Scott but apparently that was enough, and then also Caroline is worried about Stilles, because if Scott being the beta to Derek’s alpha is anything like Tyler being sired, then it’s probably dangerous for Stiles to be around either of them, no matter how much he wants to trust them. And Stiles is basically like, “What am I supposed to do? They’re my friends,” and Caroline knows that dilemma all too well.

And then, obviously, once Stiles is dating Derek, they can commiserate with one another about being in love with dudes who can kill them with one bite. Supernatural life is rough.

What dope-looking graphics! Also, speaking of these names, every time I think about that being what Moriarty calls Sherlock and Mycroft, I crave some slightly warped fairytale where Sherlock is basically Sleeping Beauty and John is the knight who rescues the sleeping virgin prince, and he’s not even really in it to get a virgin’s prince’s hand in marriage. He’s just a great soldier, and the Ice Queen Iceman wants his brother returned from Moriarty, who is obvie Maleficent and simultaneously admires and loathes the brothers, so he doesn’t kill Sherlock to send the Iceman’s kingdom into a frenzy, just kidnaps him and keeps him in a tower, subdued, and also Moriarty is obviously capable and does turn into a dragon sometimes.

But anyway, anyway, so Moriarty has Sherlock and keeps trying to take over the Holmes kingdom. John gets sent with some other knights to rescue Prince Sherlock and return him to his brother so that they can get on with killing Moriarty without the threat of Sherlock being killed. Of course John ends up being the only person to make it all the wayand does rescue Sherlock and wake him up (with a kiss, obviously, because lol Moriarty is a troll abou his spells) but then realizes Sherlock is kind of a wretch just like the rumors in the kingdom warned.

He’s kind of rude and a know-it-all, and when John says, “If you’re so clever, then how were you stolen and locked in a tower?” And Sherlock says, “Stolen? I went with him,” which is the closest John comes to just leaving Sherlock in the middle of nowhere, because seriously? They’re on the brink of war, and this guy just walked away with the person threatening them?

Sherlock says, “Ugh, royalty. Boring.”

But of course John is a good soldier, so he puts up with Sherlock, and they manage to get away from all of the people and challenges Moriarty sends after them, and it turns out that Sherlock learned some things about magic from Moriarty before he was spelled himself, which helps. Sherlock and John develop a connection, get used to one another’s company, but the ultimate showdown is some double whammy situation where Mycroft, John, and everyone realize that Sherlock is part of Moriarty’s plan in another way, because he didn’t teach Sherlock things on accident, invite him into his world, it was to give him a taste a different kind of power, imagine a kingdom where he could rule by Moriarty’s side instead of forever a younger brother with no magic, no purpose, nothing to do, and Sherlock is seduced by it, but also now there’s John, who’s fought many people with Sherlock on their journey, for and with, and Sherlock’s hesitation angers Moriarty, makes him just attack but it’s ultimately John who slays the dragon, and he’s incensed after, says, “You were going to, weren’t you? You would’ve joined him. Because you’re so bored.” and Sherlock thinks — says, “I’m —” surprised by his own mind, because he isn’t, not since John woke him, he’s realized. He’s rarely bored.

But John’s over it. He’s over this whole journey, over wayward princes, over caring about them just to realize they’d join evil anyway. He’s done his job, and he’s going to go home, and Sherlock’s more put off by John’s dismissal than he likes or expects, and he thinks about John more than once as life settles, and nothing is interesting just the way it used to be. And Sherlock deals with it until he’s about to go crazy, irritating Mycroft and everyone he encounters, and no one really likes Sherlock, and he thinks about John until he gathers some stuff together, sneaks away from the castle while Mycroft’s busy with advisors, slips all of his guards and finds where the John Watson stays, officially retired or whatever, because you can do that once you’ve killed a kingdom’s biggest threat I figure. The Ice Queen Iceman will let you hang it up if you want. And Sherlock can’t read John’s reaction very well when he shows up, but it definitely isn’t excited, and Sherlock tries to be pleasant, which is difficult and he’s not doing it right, and John seems to see through it anyway, and so Sherlock says, “I’m leaving,” which he wasn’t intending. John gets frustrated, says, “Are you — after everything —” but catches himself, remembers his place, and then says, “Right. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have some things of my own to tend to —” and Sherlock says, “I wasn’t bored, coming here. When you brought me back.” John nods but doesn’t say anything, clearly just not engaging until Sherlock adds, “You could accompany me,” which at least earns some surprise. John asks, “And why would I do that? I’m not your guard anymore,” and Sherlock says, “There may be dragons. I’ve heard you have some skill there.”

AND THEN OBVIOUSLY THEY RUN AWAY TOGETHER. THE END. 

This makes me want one of those vaguely ridic Sliding Doors/Family Man/Mr. Destiny type of stories. Maybe Harvey and Mike have dodged a few close calls at being found out, and after the third time they added another ill-advised layer by (finally - FINALLY) letting their unresolved tension result in getting together, and then the fourth time, when it seems like the might be caught for real, they choose to get out while they can, while things can go away quietly, and the relationship is part of that, pretty mutually, just to tie up another loose thread, except it’s a rom com, so there’s always that moment where they could’ve said something differently or done something else and stayed together, but they don’t. 

Fast forward like 5 or 6 years, and Harvey’s on track to becoming a managing partner and hears about Mike working as a public defender or with non-profits like the Innocence Project or something, idk, idgaf, the point is he meets Don Cheadle: Secret Angel in a convenience store has his semi-magical could’ve-been-different moment and then wakes up in an alternate reality where he and Mike stayed together even if people learning that increased suspicions and Harvey was eventually suspended and Mike was kicked out on his ass and very nearly went to jail if not for some narrative miracle. Whatever, clearly I don’t know those details either, or what, exactly, they’re each doing for a living now, but probably they’re not quite making as much money. They are in love, however, and Mike Ross is adorable, and it’s weird because their relationship, whatever it was, was somehow still pretty fresh when they split up their lives, compared to the years-long situation Harvey’s plopped into in this alternate reality. (I typed “ultimate reality” at first, make of that what you will.)

Now Harvey’s in this place where he and Mike live together, and Mike gets surprised that Harvey is surprised by that, and where is his private elevator, seriously? But then, you know, obviously Mike Ross is impossible to resist and Harvey gets used to this new life, after some trial and error at trying to deny that this is his life, you know how these stories go. Eventually it stops being weird and starts feeling OK, pretty good, actually, that Mike’s around and that apparently Harvey was talking particulars with a place about styles and customization for a ring, maybe, hypothetically, and perhaps it’s too bad that he didn’t keep in touch with Mike in another life, and then it feels stranger to finally wake up in his glass apartment of emotion again, alone.

So of couse he looks up how to get in touch with Mike. It’s been six years, but for Harvey it feels like yesterday, and Mike had been a guy who’d gone back to not caring too much about suits much yesterday, but here he’s got suits and cases, and there’s a guy in prison for life right now who’s innocent, Mike knows it. It’s just catching up, just a few dinners and meetings, but Mike isn’t stupid, so he inevitably asks what Harvey wants, if something’s wrong, if someone found some kind of evidence that they — but, no, Harvey says. He heard about a case Mike was working on. Just wanted to check in. Harvey offers to help, which Mike is pretty obviously not buying, but Harvey is Harvey, and they’ve always worked well together. They spend more time, and old habits start to surface, and Harvey doesn’t quite say he missed Mike, and they sleep together, because it’s been a while and, after six years, Mike’s still a sucker for caring, and Harvey’s apparently a sucker for Mike. 

Shit is complicated when you broke up to protect yourselves, though. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to just invite significant liability back in, but Mike and Harvey have always worked on instinct as much as smarts, and some people you can’t help. Things are okay until Mike loses a case, until those kind of moments make him wonder still, sometimes, if he shouldn’t be doing this. He’s isn’t qualified, tecnnically, and what are they doing, really? Why is Harvey around? Why now? And maybe in the middle of Mike’s mild panic for old times’ sake is when Harvey says, “I want to marry you,” which isn’t calming but does trip Mike up for a second.

It’s long enough for Harvey to add, “I don’t mean right now.”

“Then why say it?” Mike asks. 

“You like when people are honest.”

Mike says, “Don’t patronize me. It’s been six years. We knew we — everything. It was a bad idea.”

“Getting caught impersonating a legitimate attorney is a bad idea,” Harvey says. “Keeping you around made sense.” 

Mike does some more freaking out, but more quietly, and then he says, “No, Harvey,” and walks away, because that’s how these things go, right. It’s the second moment where things could be different, but this time Mike turns around and says, “So you’re telling me this isn’t a bad idea to you? Right now?” which stops Harvey, too, and he says, “I’m saying six years ago, I should’ve had a better one.”

And idk idk idk it’s really hard to imagine Harvey in canon now being the kind of person who wants to marry anybody, but I do feel like if he ever became someone inclined, he’d be pretty direct about those intentions, and Mike Ross will always be a mildly panicky wretch who bleeds “love me, love me” into the universe until he realizes, finally with some kind of certainty, that Harvey does.